anymore

all i wanted was to hear those soft words from yoo. i called yoo when i was at my weakest, when i needed yoo the most. but all yoo did was hit me with hard reality and expect me to swallow it. im a boy, i need time, i need your comfort under those bigg wings of yours. yoo dont love me like yoo used do, cause yoo never treated me like before. yoo get agitated so easily and start raising your voice at me. i mean, why dont yoo try to put yourself in my shoes? and, i know im not as important as your family, maybe not as important as your friends or whatever. i thought i knew i had a firm place in your heart, but now i dont anymore. yoo dont even feel like spending your first few moments of 2009 with me. just those few moments. yoo know how envious i feel when i see couples spending such moments tgt? i didnt even get christmas with yoo and i dont even stand a slightest chance of having the first 10 minutes of your 2009. i feel that your love isnt there anymore. yoo might say it isnt true, but i cann feel it. though we're so so so happy when we go out and stuff, but emotionally, i cant see where we even click. im really not sure. sometimes, i scared myself so much that i wonder if all these harsh treatment is part of your perfect little plan of ending us before the enlistment. yoo may claim that idea is way over, but somehow its still lingering in me. then i wonder to myself, why am i sabotaging our relationship like that? then i realise, i haven wholly trusted in yoo again. all those lying and stuff, had hit me so hard. i wonder when will yoo ever love me so much, that im the only one yoo wanna spend those special moments with, the only pair of eyes yoo wanna look deep into, the only hand yoo wanna hold, the only one yoo wanna be on the phone with for 3 hours not saying a word. seems like for now, im the last person yoo even wanna talk to. i dont know, dont know what to do to make yoo love me as much as i love yoo. yes, i am this stupid. stupid to still hold on like that when yoo're just pushing me so far away. oh wells, it just sucks to be MARS.