anymore

all i wanted was to hear those soft words from yoo. i called yoo when i was at my weakest, when i needed yoo the most. but all yoo did was hit me with hard reality and expect me to swallow it. im a boy, i need time, i need your comfort under those bigg wings of yours. yoo dont love me like yoo used do, cause yoo never treated me like before. yoo get agitated so easily and start raising your voice at me. i mean, why dont yoo try to put yourself in my shoes? and, i know im not as important as your family, maybe not as important as your friends or whatever. i thought i knew i had a firm place in your heart, but now i dont anymore. yoo dont even feel like spending your first few moments of 2009 with me. just those few moments. yoo know how envious i feel when i see couples spending such moments tgt? i didnt even get christmas with yoo and i dont even stand a slightest chance of having the first 10 minutes of your 2009. i feel that your love isnt there anymore. yoo might say it isnt true, but i cann feel it. though we're so so so happy when we go out and stuff, but emotionally, i cant see where we even click. im really not sure. sometimes, i scared myself so much that i wonder if all these harsh treatment is part of your perfect little plan of ending us before the enlistment. yoo may claim that idea is way over, but somehow its still lingering in me. then i wonder to myself, why am i sabotaging our relationship like that? then i realise, i haven wholly trusted in yoo again. all those lying and stuff, had hit me so hard. i wonder when will yoo ever love me so much, that im the only one yoo wanna spend those special moments with, the only pair of eyes yoo wanna look deep into, the only hand yoo wanna hold, the only one yoo wanna be on the phone with for 3 hours not saying a word. seems like for now, im the last person yoo even wanna talk to. i dont know, dont know what to do to make yoo love me as much as i love yoo. yes, i am this stupid. stupid to still hold on like that when yoo're just pushing me so far away. oh wells, it just sucks to be MARS.

singing carols

Saw the choir singing carols in the white sand mall, I miss my choir days. I miss singing those classic songs, the feel of projection, the ring of the voice in my head, the deep diaphram breathing. All these skills I've acquired. Guess I'm now a punctured tire, easily out of breath and I sound like a toad. HAHA.

thing.

do you know how bad it hurts,everything that happened,everything that i gave.is gone,nothings left,but memories.and i hurts because what all happened,they should have been more then just that.
do you know how bad it hurt looking at you and seeing nothing but lies,pain,and wasted tears?and especially when i see hoe fast you moved o n,and with my enemy.do you know how bad it hurts losing your besr friendover something you thought was your everything?
who am i supposed to tell things to now?
who am i supposed tocry to now?
who's supposed to pick up my picccs when they shatter on the ground?
IT HURTS,SOO BAD!
i have no regrets,but if i could start over i wish i wouldn't have say yes.the only bad things is ...that im so deeply in love with you,still,anjd i think i will always be:'-(

Heartcrash

i hate how much I still misses us. After what happened today, everything came back like a painful ride to somewhere between heaven and hell. I have always thought all I needed really, was just one more. But I was wrong. I was not aware of the strong impact you have on me still and how easily you bring me back to miserable. God must been listening when I was confidently telling di that bruises and scars may fade all they want but the pain will always remain. And thats how I want it to be, cause somehow, painful as it is, it keeps it alive and god knows, sometimes I need pain to make me feel real. I was asking for it, then.

It sucks everytime when it comes to you, its something near suicidal.

With You

if its all lies, then why does it feels so real?
I dont think you are being fair to me or even to yourself. I dont like to hear you telling me things about myself which is far from the truth, that actually will hurt me. I have my ways of staying grounded to who I am. So dont tell me Im different, dont tell me that I have my nose stick up all the way into the sky when you, you are so blinded by your own ego and right out plain stupidity.
i cant believe you, someone who brings back my faith is also the same person who makes me feel so ugly inside.
i cant freaking believe you!
When you decide to grow up and gather your somehow misplaced guts and start acting like a man, then come back and tell me who’s fault is it. I dare you.

meetoto season 2

INTROduction

What is Meetoto?
Meetoto is a web-based gaming world which introduces a novel and exciting way to enjoy the fun of casual online gaming with the benefits of serious social networking. Targeted mostly at teenager and young adults, male gamers called Meetoos and female gamers called Meetees easily interact in a virtual world.
There are many things to do in the cities of Meetoto - Immerse yourself in this virtual world of your own! Every citizen in the world of Meetoto can play interior designer to their own apartment. Use costumes and other personalization options and let your Meetoo and Meetee become extension of your virtual personality.
Just like in the real world, shop and buy clothes, or visit the salon to change hair style. Earn meecoins, the currency of Meetoto, by getting a job playing casual games, becoming a performance star, or by just hanging out with your friends in game. Making an in game living has never been more enjoyable!
All you need is a web browser! The core of Meetoto is its world-class video and audio streaming technology delivered via Flash straight to your browser. Using advanced features, Meetoo and Meetee can showcase their talent and become a star in live virtual concerts using only a webcam and microphone!
In short, Meetoto is a web-based, anime-remixed, combination of Second Life and YouTube Live; where you can broadcast your world and your imagination. Best of all, there is no download client needed- any internet browser with Flash installed will allow you to play Meetoto anytime, anywhere!
Look out for unique Malaysia and Singapore maps, the first in this region, created by our very own in-house GoPlayPlay Meetoto team! There is so much to look forward to in this world of entertainment and enjoyment- So come in to Meetoto, and bring out the Star in You!

My companions.

Alright, these are my very lame classmates. Its good to have occasional outings, get to know each other before we graduate. They are very nice and funny people. Totally cool to hang out with.
Well, thats all for now. I broke my mirror at 2.30am just now. What an idiot. 7 years of bad luck! =( ok i'm not superstitious. My second time breaking a mirror anyway. I still can't find my FREAKING nail polish. DAMN IT! WHERE ISIT!! ARGH!

steamboat

saturday steamboat was okay.. supposed to meet at 7pm plus.. but find parking lots.. pass through ERP, $2 gone.. go bugis junction car park then realize it's expensive so went out, $2.14 gone.. finally go public car park place $1.50 coupons.. -_- i spent alot just on driving and parking.. people.. do drive your car after 8pm.. you can escape all the unnessary charges.. -_- then waited for the guys.. they do the same things as me as i told them meet in bugis junction.. i learned my lesson.. in the end we start eating at 9pm plus.. -_- after steamboat i was very full and home sweet home..
i realize i have been eating buffet for past few weeks.. i shall reduce it.. it's fatterning..
sma day.. finally.. 1 of the 3 caterers was confirm.. phew.. as the date was near.. i'm afraid no food to eat on that day.. hahaz.. 2 more 2 go.. will be confirm tomorrow.. another to be worry was lucky draws and choc fondue.. gonna go pasir panjang do survey see which stalls sell their fruits cheaper..

SMA day

SMA day finally over.. but it's not over for me as i have to do accounting for that.. overall SMA day was going fine.. not much big problem.. but there are some minor ones.. thanks to every helpers and committees that had contributed the event.. 3 cheers to SMAC hip hip hooray..

smiles moon.

wasai,lasting be 18 years old,frist time see the smiles moon.
so specialy.
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